I don’t know who you are yet. I don’t know what you look like. I don’t know the color of your eyes. I don’t know the color of your skin. I don’t know your name. There are a lot of things that I don’t know about you, but there are a couple of things that I want you to know.
You’re Already Beautiful. Congratulations, babe, you did it. You are already beautiful. Seriously. If beauty is a game, you’re a pro. You are perfect already. You were beautifully and wonderfully made. You have nothing to fix. Let me say that again, you have nothing to fix. God did not mess-up on you. I know what society is telling you. “You have to look like this, wear this, and have this in order to be beautiful.” Nope. You’re already beautiful. Beauty is more than what…
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Junior year at Fordham marks the dawn of a new era. Your peers jet off to every continent to study abroad and experience a true preview of what real life is like by moving into their very first off campus apartment. With subletting all under control and study abroad applications approved, it’s finally time to take the reigns of upperclassmen life into your own two hands and make it count.
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I had neither of these experiences. An unfortunate change in majors halfway through my college career prevented me from studying abroad, and my parents’ reservations about the surrounding area kept me cooped up on campus. I was going to live with five brand new roommates who I barely knew, and let me tell you, I. Was. Nervous. I was eager for acceptance, anxious to be the best roommate I could be to these strangers, and determined…
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- “I love your feet only because they walked upon the earth and upon the wind and upon the waters, until they found me.”
- “I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.”
- “I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body, the sovereign nose of your arrogant face, I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes.”
- “I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.”
- “You are like nobody since I love you.”
- “I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate…
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1. Tell someone how you really feel, whether it’s good, bad, unpopular or ugly. Be polite, be tactful, but be honest. Stop discussing your true thoughts with everyone except the one person who needs to hear them.
2. Cut your hair the way you’ve always wanted to. Do that one thing you’ve always toyed with the idea of but were too nervous to try. At best, it will make you feel more “you” than ever before, and at worst, it will grow back anyway.
3. Get in a car and drive until you’re lost. Explore there.
4. Buy something from a store you always gawk at online. The balance to strike is finding something that is simultaneously of good quality but uniquely fits you and your lifestyle as well. Save up for it if you need to, but work toward that goal – reaching it will be unbelievably sweet.
5. Re-visit all of your old favorite…
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You are the silent prayer, where the mind wanders when it finds respite. You are the miracle that unveils the wonders of life. You are the rain that streams through the clouds and the sun that blankets the sky. You are the sound that dims the noise we don’t want to hear. You are the light that intimidates all evil. You are the silent observer who transpires every now and again. You are always there.
Belief sways between contemplation and closure. You are omnipresent and unbiased, but mostly because you are inaudible. You don’t announce your presence through words, but let the tale unfold slowly instead.
Sometimes, it seems you unleash your wrath when we are caught off-guard. At other times, you astonish us with marvels we never expected. You dim the lights and urge us to trudge through the blinding darkness, only so that we can reach…
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I take back those words I said in my head. I take back the words that I threw on this page yesterday. I take them all back.
I have always been the type of girl who was “too cautious”. Too cautious to go out, too cautious to party, too cautious to take risks, too cautious to fall hard for any guy I have had the chance with. I partied in college yeah, but even then, I was a cautious party-er; as I never let myself ever go to far. Which is not the worst thing to do, but I don’t have those crazy awesome memories that some people have because I never let myself get there. My conscious is sometimes overpowering when it comes to things. It may not even be my conscious than it is my fear. Fear of being hurt, fear of being judged, fear of being myself.
Yesterday, I made a quick judgement and made it into negativity. Why you ask? Because that is something that a “cautious” girl would do. She would assume the worst to protect herself. To protect herself from the unknown. But, at the same time, I said that this year would be a year of change. A year of risk taking, a year of new beginnings. I feel the changes in some parts of me, but others, like letting myself fully fall for someone, to let their person engulf me, is still a challenge.
Last week, I went out for a friend’s birthday and a guy asked me to dance. I was like okay sure (why not, its just harmless fun). Yet, when he put his hands on my hips, I felt myself shudder. I couldn’t deal with dancing with a stranger. I have danced with male friends before and it doesn’t bother me as much, but with a stranger, I couldn’t do it. I thought why was this. Because, I need to be friends, I need to be comfortable with a person before we are on that level. But, it goes deeper than that, doesn’t it?
It goes back to that date. That day that changed my life forever. I get sad every time I think about it. The day my father broke my heart. I know that the whole correlation doesn’t make too much sense. But, I haven’t given all the details yet. It will all come together.
Umm okay…well I guess our story has ended? I mean I don’t know if we even had a story…but I thought we definitely had more than a paragraph. I’m not sure what has happened between the last two times you have seen me including today that has already changed everything. Last time, you paid a small amount of attention to me but we did kinda talk so I thought it was just an off day, a rough patch. But today, you pay no attention to me whatsoever? Like what happened to the guy who was interested in me, who made me smile and laugh, the guy who wanted to (potentially) give me a chance…what happened to him? Did I do something wrong or do something to make things awkward? I mean yeah I have a crush on you but its not the end of the world, and I don’t even know if I like you like you because we haven’t become that close yet. So if that is what this is, you are simply childish and high school, and I am too grown for that non sense, I have been there and done that. But if that isn’t the reason, why are you playing so coy with me…I thought you would be happy to see me…but I guess not?… Why are guys so confusing? -_-
I’m thankful for the earth, the way she blows the trees. The way she shutters as she moves. The way the bees pollinate to keep her strong. The way the clouds dance around her. The way the sun makes her gleam. The way the oceans flow through her. The way she has a moon of her own, that keeps her wild yet calm. I’m thankful for the people I have met. I’m thankful for the people who have impacted my life, both positively and negatively.I’m thankful for the people I have yet to meet. I’m thankful for my family, who give me support and love. I’m thankful for my friends that I have made across the way in the game called life. I’m thankful for my Heavenly Father who shows me the way. I’m thankful for the experiences I have been blessed with as well as for the adventures to come. I’m thankful for the heartbreak I have endured, because without it, I wouldn’t know what type of person my heart belongs to, I’m thankful for my role models, all of them, for they paved the way. I’m grateful for all, because it’s what makes us, human.